Arko's Collection
This is the Collection that I worked on in the mid-2010s, based on some high school fragments!
Daybreak
This, like almost all songs in "Arko's Collection", is based on a high school fragment, where most of the new parts were written between 2015-17 (some newer). Here, the middle part (chorus) is from around September 1997, while the rest is from 2017!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Slowly going nowhere
Nought to be seen
Waiting for that something
But hope might be in vain
Seein’ through that window
Ever fading out
Never time to turn back
Buck up if chips are down
There so many moons ago
But was it real?
Sins I’ve left in my trail
Surely must catch up
In the face of despair
Keep that glimpse of hope
What else can really be done?
Pray, hope for the best
Give in to their wave of sound
Let it wash right through
‘cause it gets you ev’ry time
That magic spell they weave
Hard to know the way ahead
The right thing to do
Now know what sadness is like
Ironic friend to make
Keep some part of me with you
Don’t let me fall away
All the same the show goes on
Till our work is done
Isn’t onwards the way to go?
Certainly seems to me
Going it solo
Hoping I come through
Lie in the moonlight
Wait for the risin’ sun
Play your cards right
Off and your work is done
‘cause I’m here and I’m watching you
Holding on for your life
Not letting it out of sight
Pervasive feelings of dread
In every bone
Dancing to that slow waltz
Into the early morn
Bit by bit things fall in place
Takes its final breath
Gently wave in the sun
Just before the cold
Droplets fall ever so fast
Miserable, grey and bleak
Coming to its starting point
Sure as break of day
There’s far distant rumbling
Going right past me
At that fork on my own
Wondering if help will come
Two steps in front of time
Won’t quite catch me today
Does there lie hope for me?
Time for me to clear?
Staying wouldn’t do much good
Things’d tank quite soon
Through my fingers once again
Slipped away, gone for good
Heading back onto the road
Time to move from here
Always there could be tough times
Can’t ever say there won’t
No use stressing too much
Things be OK in the end.
Something remembered
Sly smile and knowing wink
Hear the past’s echo
Probably not what you think
‘cause I’m here and I’m watching you
Stale Cheese
The story behind the original (1997) part of this song is kind of interesting... it came about because I thought that playing a 'chord sequence' (on the keyboard) was a good way of starting a song... lyrics to the original part were written in 2014!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
A silent bubble in time
Remaining just as itself
It rolls on as it had done
Without care of anyone
And sometime you might stop and take pause
Of where you’d gone and where next
For just think what you’d given up
And all the space that was lost
A time as it was untouched
You only got to do it once
And don’t ever look back
The star that twinkles in my mind
It’s fading out just beyond the sun
And it says to you, step into my world
As yet one day passes by
We hear our future kids cry
But inside I don’t know
What kind of world there’ll be
And when the time is come
We’ll know we’ve just begun
The other day there I was, won’dring when the phone might start to ring
A whis'pring voice telling me “don’t sit there in the cold, shivering”
The plaster is peeling off the walls
You tell me your news and my heart falls
My only lifeline to the world, your shimm’ring mirage but I clutch at straws
The vultures will wheel but I’m going mad
The only love that I ever had
You tell me the afterlife really ain’t that bad…
And now I find out all along, you were so changed I didn’t know your face
The voice that I thought I heard, actually just a little bird
The answers that I thought I knew, slowly drew me back to you
And now you that are so carefree, there is no more place for me in…
Stale cheese…
Stale cheese…
Stale cheese…
Stale cheese
Flights of Fancy
The original (chorus) part of this song was written in about June 1997, as part of a school trip to Indonesia... an interesting tidbit about the new (verse) parts of this song, is that they were actually written in 2021 while my mother was very ill (most of the lyrics, except for the opening chorus, are also new, that is from around 2021.)
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
The thing with everyone is that they’re no fun so I just sit around
Hallucegenics let your mind drift free, your feet don’t touch the ground
Trapped in time’s bubble
In a world’s cocoon
Not knowing birth or death
just itself
From before time
Etched mountain-face
Don’t argue with driver
Buckle in for ride
Heading in with eyes wide shut
Know all too well
Hunger be the death of me
To my dying days
Leaving phone on hook
People I’d mistook
As I saw through the park, I saw a shining man arrive from the sky
He came to set us free, show us we could never utter a lie
Left before I’d gotten here
Fool’s paradise
Not having much to say
But how’s your week
And all seems to count for nought
Not really surprised
Crying but somehow hollow
Can be no mistake
Weight lifted from past life
Sweet kiss goodbye
Thought I barely knew you
Gone, like a dream
And it seems the book is closed
Won’t be much more from me
In time sure you’ll see
It's Dying
The first part of this song was done in 2018, the second half of the song in 1997... actually, an interesting 'tidbit' is that there were originally (in 1997) much better words (that is, rhymes) for the refrain, but these were lost, so I had to come up with new ones!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Light years from where I’d been
Expanse left behind
All mine now to count out
In that space of mind
People from the bygones
Back once in a while
Wistfully look back at them
Tryin’ to stay above the line
But things to be grateful for
If you can make it thru
Sink into trap of despair
Come out all OK
No longer too young
Hopeless dreams forgotten
Joyrides long long ago
Savouring a mem’ry
Rueing stupid wrongs
Rays of hope gleaned in the world
Some slight cause to smile
Tests will be in years to come
Managing for now
Times on that other side
Just out of reach
What do things amount to?
Can we know for sure?
Hope for salvation
At reckoning day
Props for sticking with me
Over all these years
World’s twilight but my hill
with so many of my time
Our future, less worse than theirs
But we’ll slowly fall off the line
What could possibly be left
Surely it’s all done dues
But mark my words we’re not done
If things need be
Then it so shall be
It’s going down the tubes, and I can’t think what to do
Your friendship had always meant so much to me
But still through your blindfolded eyes you won’t see that
It’s dying, no denying, ain’t surprising, won’t stop trying…
‘cause it’s going down the tubes, and my heart’s feeling marooned
Well it's dying, death defying, no use cryin', leave that sighing
Well it’s going down the tubes, and God knows what I can do
Many, Many Moons Ago...
The lyrics to this song are probably fairly self-explanatory, but the intro is 'new' (from about 2016), whilst the music to the rest is from 1995 (although the arrangement to the 2nd verse is new!)... the lyrics are a mixture of '95 and 2016 though!!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Such strains of old days
As if there had been no time
But it was not felt in turn
The joyride day by day
Not much to live for, you don’t care
But you know you’d do anything
It’s like the whole world’s not there
The best and sweetest kind of pain
Now those days lie stored away
Remnants of a different time
This road can never go back
Wish it would though I may
A mem’ry of then will stay on
Felt so good to be the only one
A special time long gone
Only remembered by those there
Sad to think of what was
So much left in the past
Yesteryear’s relic thrown aside
There’s only one love in my life
She is the one for me, and that’s just plain to see
Her face’s beauty enchants me
I’m in a trance of love, I thank the heavens above
For giving me her
She flames the passion of my soul
And since I’m on a roll, which I just can’t control
I think I’ll go up and tell her
That she is all to me, and I just hope she can see that she is
The madd’ning waif that torments my soul
Constantly fall further into my hole
So short of breath, impossible high
I think that I’m gonna die
Hey! Sex is so cheap
But I prefer love, ‘cause love goes more deep
And she is the one who makes me feel great
And I want to give her all that she’ll take
From the bottom of my heart
And when I lay back and thought
About the things we’d do
If I had courage to
I lived in such a high
My feet were off the ground
My ears would hear no sound
Except for her’s
And though she’d slip away
Till all that’s left it seemed
Was just a time once dreamed
I could always go back
And be there once again
Get lost in way back when, just like a
Star that’s slowly receding away
Vanishes with the cold harsh light of day
I always dream but there’s not much hope
But it’s OK, I’ll probably cope
Hey!
What can you do
When times have changed
No longer the one
You can’t explain
The baton has passed
Slip back to the rear
And know you’re now the only one here
For Love
The choruses of these songs occurred to me while I was taking a walk around the block at nighttime in 1996... it was meant to be sung as a duet between me and an old friend (hence the 'two vocal lines' in the choruses)... the music of the verses is from 2015, and the lyrics are about that friendship with the same old friend.
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
I think back to all those times
When we were young and green
The future seemed to hold so much
So much as yet we hadn’t seen
To give something so you can feel
Indebted to the pain of love
So starry-eyed living in bliss
Not feeling fate’s icy glove
For love, for love, for love
But did it ever matter anyway?
For love, for love, for love
I never meant for you to go forever
I still recall those few years
What was to come was still unplanned
One second from winning it all
In dest’ny’s face taking a stand
I thought that we’d just go on
Not paying care to anyone
But as I was soon to know
The cracks beneath beginning to show
For love, for love, for love
But did it ever matter anyway?
For love, for love, for love
I never ever want to say goodbye
And now it seems a farce
Mem’ries have faded away
As if wiped out by sands of time
The past you just have to forsake
It seems now it was all for nought
And how much it I rue
So please just bear me in mind
I’ll always do for you in kind
Baking in Love's Soufflé
The lyrics to this are fairly self-explanatory, but in the lyrics to the second half of the song (which is new material), I was writing something, that was not necessarily what I actually felt, but rather something to 'match the mood of the song'... the first half of the music is from 1997, the second 2015 (lyrics 2017)!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
My mind is putty in her hands, with her face she gives commands
And try as I might to look away, from her face my eyes won’t stray
Then as I stare at her lips, the power’s at her fingertips
But she’d say why should I love you, you’re just a sore to my eye
And why should I miss your friendship since all of that was a lie
More frustration does arise as I gaze into her eyes
But in her eyes I see only glass, she doesn't care what comes to pass
And as she bores holes through my heart, I find I’m falling apart
But she’d say hey, who are you, aren’t you that little speck of dirt?
And I couldn't care less if you dropped off the face of the earth
Descending slowly into the abyss
Pervasive feeling devouring my brain
That one way trip to love’s deep hell
From where I don't know if I’ll e’er return
The hapless pawn in her trivial game
Toying with me like a mouse
I am wont to grant her every whim
With which she’ll do as she please
And I keep coming back time and time again
Etern’lly falling, there with no end
And being crushed in, from every side
Takes me to new depths of despair
And all I live for, given to her
May as well not be there
Tank in a circle where there’s no escape
My world, my all though to her it’s passing time
The Bottom Line
Probably not much to mention about this song, except that the 'Pre-Chorus' and 'Chorus' parts are probably from around Nov 1997, while the verses are from the mid-2010s... I guess when I was in high school (when the original parts were written), this was one of my more 'social' songs!!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Big Brother speaks from above
Sending all of you his heartfelt love
The times they don’t bode well
To fall under his spell
Wand’ring aimlessly with no cause
How we long for those better days
The seismic shift underway my friend
Will see us through all our ways
Every time we close our eyes
We wake up to the next surprise
A few more days, a few more years
We’ll be surrounded by our fears
Just take a look at the bottom line
Can’t you see it’s almost time
To rationalise a little bit more
On hope and freedom shut the door
With things are going the way that you see
Well it’s almost over, over for me
Tough times travellin’
Doin’ the rounds
But it don’t look good, don’t look good to me
Collectively turning blind eyes
To that thing we surely can’t deny
Heads buried in the sand
They’ll never understand
Wearily step after step
The life within is drained away
How does it affect you or I my friend
Alas, I really can’t say
Chained to the merri-go-round
The joyful tune drowns out the sound?
But nonetheless time marches on
Come round my friends, the game is on
The layers peel off one by one
But was it felt by anyone?
And I know someone said to you
You can’t change things for all you do
With things are going the way that you see
Well it’s almost over, over for me
Tough times travellin’
Doin’ the rounds
But it don’t look good, don’t look good to me
A hypocrite I am as such
Just writing songs, not doing much
But lest you say that that’s not fair
I’d like to say at least I care
Still There Remains...
The first part of this song is from 1997, the second twenty years later from 2017... the lyrics of the latter part draw on some experiences I'd had in 1997...I think though, that probably subconsciously, the title of the song is a slight 'lift' of Paul McCartney's 'Only Love Remains' :-)
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
For all the pain I’ve had in my life (in my life)
Still there remains some love tonight (be my light)
It never seemed to matter at all
It never really mattered at all
So here you’re standing by my side
It’s such a shame my friends
Such a shame my friends
Yes it’s a shame my friends for us all
Trying to escape that old feeling
Like you’ve just seen a ghost
Echoes from times not far gone
As all your friends slide on back
Tireless and unflagging time
What’s been lost can’t come to terms
Let past things stay alone
Coping with what’s just gone down
But it all stays the same
As if you’re not there
Not much will make them care
How to soldier through life?
As the old order dissolves
Friends shift in front of your eyes
As this time’s curtain falls
I move onto other lands
Something flickers then dies
Oh well farewell goodbye
Yellow Rose
The music for the choruses of this song was written on a bus, on the way back from a school band tour in 1997 (Year 9)... (I think I bought a yellow rose for someone on the tour, hence the name)... The music (as well as lyrics) for the verses is from 2015... although this is probably not one of my favourite songs, what I like about it is that it's at least melodious and tuneful!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Such a pleasant lovely thought fell into my door
But the time had passed me by, had moved on beyond me
While my past just fell away, a forgotten daydream
It spelt the end for me, no more here to be seen
But if I could start again, I’d try to do different
The words you said back then ring in my ears still
Do I get a second chance?
I’d love to once more join the dance
The moment that was gone
Here to haunt the souls of everyone
Rose, Yellow rose, I think the time for love has come
Show us how we can be one with you our rose
Love shows the way, and from now on we can start believing it’s true
That in the end love saves the day
When all’s said and done our time is over
But I’m not saying goodbye just yet
I’ll leave this world with only a hint of regret
And when I had uncovered, everything I’d kept locked inside
What had it left me? Did it help my wounded pride?
I straggled on, with what I had, tryin’ to get to the line
But it was always just out of reach, I hoped to God I’d be fine
But the thing that kept me sane was you, knowing one day you’d be there
But it can’t really happen, at least I know not for me
But don’t you worry, things will be fine, even if you won’t be here
I’ll try to get by somehow
And when you’re old don’t forget me
Although you don’t see me now
Messed up times
It was so hard to find your own
With no way of telling what you had to do
Just getting’ by, from day to day you cope, you try to manage
And at the end there’s no more you can do
So stay now, I need you more than ever
Without you I know I can’t get through
Oh please just throw me a lifeline, I haven’t a clue
Never Let You Go
This is one of my favourite songs on this collection... I guess a notable thing about the writing of this song is that it was very 'direct' - that is, there weren't multiple drafts of material, it all happened in one go... the chorus of this song is a tune that came into my head whilst I was in Brisbane, in 1996, I think (and I think it was always meant to be in the vein of Mariah Carey)!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
One night back then, I stopped and stood
A mess of mem’ries, I’d done all that I could
I’d been feeling lately, that something was wrong
I couldn’t pinpoint it
I’d felt like this so long
Back here with you, oh well I’ll never let you go, we find ourselves right here again
Well yes I’ll never let you go, not ever now nor even then
And when I said
I swear I’d be true
I left you high and dry
Turned my back on you
So what remains for us, prob’bly not that much
So distant to think of, so cold to the touch
Back here with you, you know I’ll never let you go, what use is life when you're not there,
Well yes I’ll never let you go, I wouldn't trade this for anywhere
And when I see you there with him
My heart does a double-take
And as the years all go by, do I look back for looking back’s sake
But how can I just march and go on
When all I loved’s left behind
The last light b’fore sundown
My heart, I entreat you be kind
And now we're right back at the start
To break your heart again I couldn't bear
I can't just shut all else out
And ruin what we still had there
It was my last chance, and now it’s gone
I think I’ll live to rue the day
And if you could bear to embrace me once again
I wouldn’t ever leave you, believe when I say
Back here with you, just know I’ll never let you go, isn't it weird how things turn out,
Well yes I’ll never let you go , please darling don't ever have doubt
Thoughts of Nothing
Not really very much to say about this song... I consider the first part of this song (from 1997), a bit more 'light and fun' than the second part (which is from 2017, which also feels a bit more 'dark and heavy'), but I guess this is also one of the few 'up-tempo' songs on this collection!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Thoughts of nothing floating round my head, round my head
Even though you never know if I might be dead
Though there’s a small chance I may curl up and cry
Please don’t ask those questions why
I think I’ll just sleep instead
Lifelong love is loving’s first great lie, love’s first lie
But you see you’ll never be to know if you don’t try
There’s just one small risk that you’ll have to take
The one that’ll put your heart at stake
‘cause I don’t want to be the lonely guy!
And though my mind may look for you
It will find that you’re not there, you’re not there
So laying back in solitude, know that it’s to be free, as can be
Something quietly gnawing
Those I’d shunned away
See their grinning face
Pass me day by day
Fading out to blue
Slowly melt away
Feel the crushing weight
Live with me always
But the distant light
Pulls me step by step
Did I pay enough?
Or give up, “It’s just too tough!”
Like it was yesterday
But years have slipped away
So many left behind
The ones who’d fallen by the curb
Trying not to think of old wounds
But it won’t let me slip
Hard to see past the veil
Or is it fate’s sleight of hand
Like the spinning top
A hurried crimson sunset
That chilly place that you find
Stone eyes bore into me
See through me like glass
But it’s like I’m ever so small
A trod on pebble still
A standin’ here high and dry
Is it you could it be?
And I can’t tell who’s next
Do I really want to know.
Bittersweet Times
The music of the chorus of this song is from early 1996 (Year 8), whilst the rest of the music (and lyrics) are from 2015, but I'm not sure that the new parts quite do justice to the 1996 music... for want of a much better way of putting it, the original 1996 music was kind of 'deep and profound, which I'm not sure is reflected in the 2015 parts... still, hopefully enjoyable!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
I’m trav’lling on fast forward through all the times of my life
Mixed scenes greet me, some joyful, some filled with strife
But who I am to say that I have the last word
When all that we said was never heard
The beady eyes that stare back at me
I look in far and hard and yet I can’t see
If I should cease to exist
I would like you to be there, I would insist
And now my best laid plans have fallen round my ears
Searching for a lifeline that won’t end up in tears
But is it all in vain, all the love I put in
For I know that it’s time to turn in
And so I came back to the start
And checked to make sure of the health of my heart
But be sure to bear this in mind
That what you thought you knew is not what you’ll find
Trying to find ways to the past
Hanging on in there while I can
Despite all the odds, there is a path thru
But should it be the one I go down?
In terms of what I had, what was there to show?
Did I have a trinket for the years?
I guess in the end it was just too much
I’d been held captive by my fears
A slipp’ry road that must end in grief
But I can’t stay long, I will try to keep brief
Something you’d nearly forgot,
Something that you always knew but couldn’t think what
You're Only 1 of 5 Billion
The first part of this song was written after a particularly tumultuous overseas school trip (in 1997, hence the '5 billion'!!)... the second part is much more recent, from 2020, but I feel that the second part conveys, and 'extends' the feel of the first part quite well!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
No-one will look you in the eye
You might have noticed they don’t care
Now tell me it isn’t fair
All the big breaks have passed you by
Your plans and hopes drift out of sight
They tell you to say good night
So you say well it must matter to you what happens to me
I’ve got potential for you all
Can’t you see that I’m unique in this world
I’ll do good for you ere I fall
Just like the other five billion
Struggle on slowly through it all
All those times you’ve been shown the door
How does the world look from the floor?
And when you feel you’ve served your time
You’ll fade away to nothingness
I’m afraid they just couldn’t care less
Yes I’ve got plans for this world and plans for my life
I want to get somewhere in the end
I don’t want to have my house in the slums or be left with no friends
Someone’s got to care…
Someone’s got to care…
Well it matters to me…
Yes someone must care…
Why should we ‘cause: You’re only one of five billion
Ruined with nought left
All you love gone
Wind up empty shell
No one there for you
Things that could have been
Never come to pass
Why had you bothered
Fate already told
All those ones who’d loved you
Now can’t care less
That wealth of riches
Now pauper alone
Live past all others
Watch them come and go
Eggs all in that basket
Lost in one fell swoop
Everyone you see
Happy, lead their own lives
Their daily existence
Not a care for you
At the end resigned
Nought that can be done
In the odd moment
Spare a thought for me
Thought I’d shook those blues
But still with me now
All those things you’d told me
Never shred of truth
You used to love me
How’d it fade away
So hard to face the day
But there’s no choice
Corpses from my shadows
Won’t quite let me be
Time that I’ve spent here
Frittered it away
Take stock of my life
Not much good to see
Have to say at end
Left with nary a friend
Yesterday's Shadow
The music of the chorus of this song is from 1997, whilst the music of the verses are from 2015... this is probably one of my favourite songs on this collection, but it certainly took a lot of iterations of drafts to be done!!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
Another corner turned
A lifetime left behind
A friend lost here and there
A fate to which you’re resigned
No other way but to plough on
To see the journey through
For all that’s left to remember
The shared past of me and you
If I’d e’er known someone like you
I’d have known all my hopes were true
And no, nobody would feel the way I do
What’s left at the end of the day
Isn’t worth your time anyway
So relax my friends etc…
Just pause life for a moment
You blink and then it’s gone
It all changes in an instant
You’re left the only one
But things take their own course
They will even without you
So take it while it lasts
Drink deep, you know it’s true
Even in the depths of despair
I knew that I was everywhere
But I swore I’d never bear my heart again
If you asked me honestly
I’d tell you it’s not down to me
so relax my friends etc
So I start again
For the umpteenth time
Just stranded on a shore
Don’t want pain to hurt no more
But I’m grateful for what I have
It means so much to me
But you see thus far I just don’t know
I would tell you regretfully
My Midnight Girl
This is one of the oldest songs on this collection, but also one of my favourites... I've always hoped this might be a great 'cabaret' song, sung in a smoky, lowly-lit cabaret bar, maybe even by a female singer (with different lyrics of course)!!
Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | YouTube Music
Lyrics:
In the silence I see you
My dashing debonair
The dream that dreamed away
It vanished in the air
Smoke in the ashes
For you and for me
Won’t you be with me my darling?
Oh won’t you comfort me
My midnight girl
My midnight girl
You were always a sinner
The devil of my heart
But one day you packed up and left
You left and took my heart
Playing round the daisies
You hear but you can't see
And then I saw you my darling
I'd tell you if you kissed me
My midnight girl
My midnight girl
And then, you said baby there is no more there
We left and said our fond farewells, my once impassioned affair
And now there is nothing left, in my heart that once beat for you
I weep for you oh my true love… you see what you do
My midnight girl
My midnight girl
Fall from Grace:
This is another very old entry (probably the second-oldest, after "My Midnight Girl")... I think (when I was doing this one), what I was going for was a kind of 'mad, insane night-life' feel... in this way I feel it's probably quite successful, although I don't know if it does complete justice to the chorus music (which is from 1997)?
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Lyrics:
You're going down, you’ve hit the lights
But there ain’t nothing for you
Out on the midnight hour
The time has come
To do the deal or die
A fall from grace, now I hide my face
Now I big disgrace, now in my face
A fall from grace, now they think I base
Now I without trace, now by God’s grace
The shinin’ sun, the smiling sky
But does she have the last laugh?
You had your last chance you blew it
And in you go
To do the merry dance
A fall from grace, now I hide my face, now I big disgrace, now have no place
A fall from grace, now my washed out face, now give up my space, final resting place
And the light’s shinin’ high now
You’d better check you’re still all there
Are you ready for the turning
The wind cruisin’ through your hair
The madness descending
The city beckons you in
But it’s so alluring
The other side gives you a grin
A fall from grace, now I hide my face
Now I big disgrace, now in my face
A fall from grace, now they think I base
Now I without trace, now by God’s grace